Finding the words
by artsytronnor
Summary: Aria and her dad were in a car accident. She survived, her dad died. since that day she stopped speaking. She runs into old friends and new friends. Will they help her get through this?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! I know i already have 2 fanfics going on but i had 2 more ideas for fanfics so I decided to just have 3 stories and then move on to another story… As you may know i am a crazy fangirl but if this is the first time you are here… WELCOME TO MY LIL' PLL FAMILY! Let's start!**

 **Aria POV**

Tomorrow is the first day back at school. I will have to face Alison DiLaurentis and my other ex-friends. There is a new girl in the possey. She replaced me when I had a rough time. I still have a rough time. The new girls name is Mona Vanderwall. She helps Alison torture me. She calls me names and hits me sometimes… all because I am Rosewoods new freak. Why am I Rosewoods new freak? Because I haven't been talking for exactly 255 days. 255 days after that horrible day.

 _Flashback_

 _"_ _Dad please! Drive a little slower! We can slip because of the ice on the road! Do you want me dead?!"_

 _"_ _Aria don't yell! I am so dissapointed! Why did you steal that skirt?! Did Alison make you do it?!"_

 _He stares at me._

 _"_ _Dad!" I scream as we slip and the car turns over. Everything is black_

 _End flashback_

It's not fair… I get to live and he dies. I have no reason to talk anymore… why am I even breathing? I don't want to die it's just everyday that I think of it I get more sad and depressed. I act normal in public but I don't say anything. People point and stare at me like I am a circus freak. Everyday I get a run so I can clear my head. I decide to do that now as well. Tomorrow is gonna be hel land I know it…

 **Spencer POV**

It's 255 days since I have last talked to Aria. I miss her. I miss our Sparia time… she just blocked me, Em and Han out. I think Ali has something to do with it. I am just to scared to ask her. I see Aria running past my house as she always does. I need to talk to her. Even though she doesn't talk anymore. I want her as my friend. I want to make the pain she is feeling go away. I want to heal her. Emily and Hanna agree with me, it just never came up at the right time. I decide to grab my jacket and run after her.

She stops at the Brew. Probably to get a vanilla latte with extra cream on top. Her favorite. I walk in and see her sitting in a corner. She looks up and sees me. She stands up and tries to walk away but I block the way out.

"Aria, please sit down… I can't take it to see how much pain you are in… I miss Sparia, I want tob e your friend. Please sit down" She nods, turns and sits down. She smiles at me.

"Aria I know you are still in a lot of pain, and I don't blame you. When it happened you blocked us out. It hurts Aria. I know Ali is the reason why you blocked us out, but honestly, She's a bitch! Aria, I want to help you, be your friend, be your shoulder to cry on. Han and Em miss you to but i twill probably take some time for them to let go of Ali. They know she's a bitch but Ali has a tide grip on all of us. Please give me another change?"

I look up and see that there is a smile on her face, but also a tear rolling down her face.

 **Aria POV**

I can see it is hard for her. I miss Sparia too. More than anything. She makes me happy. I realise that I am crying while she finished her story.

"Aria? I am so sorry I made you cry! We don't have to be friends if you don't want to it's just th-"

I stand up and walk over to her. I pull her into a long, tight hug. I missed her.

"So you… you want to be my friend again?" She asks with a big smile. I nod.

"I missed you so so so much Aria! I love you" I smile at her " So what do you think of a little Sparia time right now? On this moment?" My smile is getting wider. We stand up and walk towards her house.

"Aria?!" Mrs. Hastings screams "I am so happy to see you! I missed my third daughter!"

I simply just nodded and smiled. Words formed on my tong but they don't come out.

 **Next Day**

My alarm goes off and I sigh. I am so not ready to face Alison and Mona. What will they do to me this time? I walk downstairs, smelling berry pancakes.

"Goodmorning sweety!" My mom says in a jolly voice. I give her a hug.

"Goodmorning sissie" Mike walks in and smiles at me. He has been a good brother to me and I love him for all the things he did for me.

I finish my pancakes and run upstairs to change. Before the accident happend I had a vintage look with all kind of prints in my closet and mixed together. They are still hanging in my closet. I replaced them for simple skirts, shirts and sweatpants. I don't feel like dressing up anymore. I've changed a lot. I decide to wear a black skirt, black t- shirt, black tights and black ankle boots. I run downstairs and wave my mom goodbye. Then I drive to school. I am early but I want to be alone for a bit.

I walk in to the school, straight tot he bathroom. I walk in and see Alison and Mona standing there.

"Well goodmorning to you Aria!" Alison says in a fake jolly voice. I stare at her, giving her a weak smile.

"It is rude to not say anything back, don't you think?" Mona says with a smirk.

"Well I know exaclty what to do about it… MONA HOLD HER!" Alison shouts.

Mona runs up to me and holds me. Alison starts to punch and kick me. I fall to the ground, crying. Alison picks up my head and drags me up.

"This is what you get little bitch" She whispers. She pushes me into a stall and pushes my head in the toilet. Then she leaves. She leaves me crying my eyes out. Why can't I just say something, Dammit!

I run out of the bathroom and run into a guy. I fall to the ground once more. I cry out in pain. He helps me get up. I stare into his ocean blue eyes. I drown in them.

"I am so sorry! I am a new teacher her and I didn't expect to see students at 7.30 in the morning" He explains. I smile back at him. He looks worried at me.

"How did you get that black eye? And why is your head wet? Did someone do this to you?" He asks and I start to cry. He takes me to his classroom.

"My name is Ezra Fitz by the way, You are?"

I look at him. I start to panic. What am I supposed to do?

"Are you the girl that doesn't talk?" I look up at hi mand see that he is smiling at me. I smile back at him. He gives me a pen and a notebook to write down my name. I can write down my name… I mean I write a lot of stories so this isn't so hard. I give the notebook back.

"Aria Montgomery… Beautiful name" He winks at me and I blush. He is so handsome and cute. His boyish smile makes me so happy. Wait… He is my teacher… stop thinking like that Aria!

 **Ezra POV**

Aria Montgomery. Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. She sits there and smiles up at me. I love her eyes. Her hair falls perfect on her back and it flows like…. Stop Ezra you can't! She is your student. But I can help her with a couple of things if she needs me.

"My door is always open so if you struggle, don't be scared to hop by. I will help you in any way I can" She smiles at me. Then she walks out of the room, turning around one more time and waves at me. Then she is gone.

 **I hoped you liked it and don't forget to review! You can ask me anything. Have any ideas for me? PM me!**

 **kisses Britt Julia**


	2. Chapter 2

**So yesterday I wrote the first chapter and now it is weekend so I will write a lot! Oh and just to make so things clear. Aria can actually talk but she thinks she is not worth it because her dad died in the accident and she is alive. Let's get started!**

 **Aria POV**

I walk out of the classroom and run into Spencer.

"Aria?! What happened to you?! Wait don't answer that… I know it is the first day of school but do you wanna ditch?"

I shake my head.

"You are so strong Aria. Lets get you cleaned up!" Spence says.

We walk towards the bathroom. Alison is leaning against her locker.

"So… Spencer finally took your side huh?" She says with a smirk.

"Yes I did… And I should have a long time ago. You're a bitch Ali! Why would you do this to Aria? She was in a car accident with her dad, her dad died and she is depressed… Dammit! I hope karma comes back to bite you in the ass. Don't think you can come cry on our shoulders, because you are dead to me! Stay away from Aria, the girls or me, because if you hurt one of us I will haunt you down until you are afraid to sleep. So shut up and walk away! Aria doesn't need you, the girls don't need you and I sure as hell don't need you! Contact one of us again and I WILL kill you!"

As Alison glares at me she walks away. I look at Spencer with my mouth wide open. She really cares about me. I turn around and see Hanna and Emily standing there, crying. Mr. Fitz is watching too. They run up to me and pull me into a hug.

"We missed you Ar. We are so sorry that we weren't there for you" Em says.

"I love you Ar!" Hanna says. I smile at them. They each take one hand and we walk into the bathroom. Now I see that my clothes are wet too.

"You are lucky that I always have an extra set clothes with me. They will be colorful but I hope you don't mind" Hanna says. I smile.

She pulls out the clothes from her bag. It is a black and white striped skirt, a pink t-shirt, a yellow leather jacket.

"You will need this shoes too though" Hanna says.

She takes off her own shoes and gives them to me. They are the same yellow as the jacket. I shake my head.

"Yes Aria! Give me your shoes, I will put on your shoes. Just she it as a shoe swap" She winks at me. I put on the shoes. I look at myself in the mirror. I missed the colors… Colors look good on me, although it is not vintage, I love it. I smile.

"You look hot!" Spencer says "If I was gay I would probably do you" She winks.

"You look hot, but I am gay and I don't want to do you, I mean you are my best friend" Emily says. They laugh and I chuckle. We walk out the bathroom. I am ready to take on the day with the girls by my side. We lace our arms together and walk towards our first period class. Mr. Fitz's class.

We walk in and Mr. Fitz looks at me and smiles. I nod ( My way of saying Hi ).

"I am Mr. Fitz. Your new AP English teacher. We will start with reading the Great Gatsby"

 **Ezra POV**

I hear everyone gasp. They all look annoyed. Aria doesn't, she just has a big smile on her face. She takes out her copy.

"I know it is just the first day but I promise you, it is actually a good book. You have to have it tomorrow. Don't forget to buy it. I see that for Miss Montgomery, that is not a problem" I say. Everyone turns around to look at Aria. She sinks into her seat. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.

"Guys I am here, not at the back of the class" They all turn back at me and Aria looks up at me and smiles. God that gorgeous smile. She puts her copy back into her backpack and takes out a notebook and starts to write. I try to get to know the other students by asking them their names and hobbies.

The bell rings and I see that Aria is looking out the window. She stands up and forgets her notebook. When I try to call her she is already out the door. I stand up and walk towards her desk. I pick up the notebook. There is a title. 'Finding the words'. It immediatly catches my eye. She is a writer. A good one.

 _Finding the words_

 _The hospital. It is cold. I can smell the chemicals. I try to open my eyes, but they stay shut. What happened? Why am I here? Where is dad? I hear people whispering._

 _"_ _We will have to tell her, Ella"_

 _My nanna? What is she doing here? What is she talking about?_

 _"_ _I can't just tell my daughter that her dad is dead…"_

 _My mom is crying. My dad. He's dead. Then all the memories start to come back. We were fighting. The car slipped. Now I am here and my dad is gone. He is gone and he will never come back. What is my life worth? Nothing. I don't deserve my life. There is no one to call me princess anymore. No one to call me their little girl. Just like that. Poof. It's gone._

I stop reading when Aria walks back in. I close her notebook as fast as I can.

"You left your book her. I am sorry that I read a bit. You're a good writer, but you need to work on your grammar though… I would love to help you" She looks at me with a scared look but that turns into a smile, she nods.

"I can come over to your house after school, so that I can help you with the book. If that is okay with you. I kno wit is weird but I would love to help you" She nods. I sigh in relief " See you at your house than" She smiles and walks away.

God this girl is perfect.

 **Aria POV**

Although I am really happy that Ezra aka Mr. Fitz is coming over, I am a little scared about what part of my unfinished book he read. I hope that he doesn't know that it is about me. I hope he read the beginning. My name is nowhere to be found on that page. It isn't until the next chapter. I walk towards history. My second period class. I walk in and alle yes are on me. I smile at the teacher and sit down.

"Miss Montgomery, can you explain why you are late?"

"Mrs. Bolini she doesn't talk" Spencer says.

"Oh grow up… Miss Montgomery, talk. Now. Or I will have to remove you out of this class!"

Tears start to form in my eyes. This is bullshit. I stand up and run out of the door. I hear everyone laughing. I don't care. I just keep running. Past Mr. Fitz.

"Aria?! Stop!" He calls after me.

'Keep running Aria… You are not worth it. You are useless. That's why they act like this. Because of you your dead is dead. Why would you still?! This is all your fault!' A voice in my head says. I step into my car and drive home. Why am I not dead?

 **Okay I will spoil something for the next chapter. NO SHE IS NOT GOING TO TRY TO KILL HERSELF! Just so you know. Don't forget to review!**

 **Kisses Britt Julia**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Ezra POV**

Aria just ran past me.

"Aria?! Stop!" I say but she keeps running. I heard everything what Mrs. Bolini said to her. I was just on my way to get some coffee. I walk towards the classroom.

"Mrs Bolini… Why are you giving her such a hard time?!" I hear Spencer say "not even a year ago her dad died, she is in shock. I can't believe you just said that to her! You shouldn't even be teaching here!"

"I agree with Spencer" I say "I am sorry Mrs Bolini but I am going to inform the principal about this little incident. Or do you have an excuse?"

She glares at me.

"That's what I thought. Spencer Hastings, will you please come with me to the principal? I need you to tell him what exactly happened" she nods and stands up. We walk towards the principals office. We walk in.

"Mrs Hastings, you are not the person to get in trouble the first day back… what's happened Mr Fitz?"

"Spencer did nothing wrong. It was Mrs Bolini. Aria was a little late in her class because she forgot her notebook in my class. A couple of minutes later I walked past her classroom and Aria ran out, crying. I don't know what exactly happened but Spencer Hastings knows. Spencer was defending Aria when it happened"

"Mr Hackett, Aria came back in class and Mrs Bolini was mad at her because she was late. As you know Aria stopped with talking exactly 256 days ago because her dad died in a car accident and she was involved" Spencer started. Wait….. that book is about her dad and how he died… she is traumatized.

"Mrs Bolini started to freak out so Aria smiled and went to her seat. Mrs Bolini said that she had to explain why she was late or she would remove her from the class and after Aria left she said that Aria just wants to be the center of attention and that she wants everyone to pity her"

"Thank you Mrs Hastings, Mr Fitz, I am going to take action and talk to Mrs Bolini. I know that it is hard for Aria. This wasn't her choice. I will do anything to help her"

"Thank you Mr. Hackett" I say and walk out with Spencer. Aria has been through so much.

 **Aria POV**

I arrive at home. Walking past my mom. I walk upstairs, to my room. I get out my dancing clothes and put them on. Before the accident happened I loved to dance and sing. I just picked up dancing again. It clears my mind. I walk downstairs.

"Aria why are you so early?" my mom asks. I just shake my head and walk towards the dance room. A couple of years ago, we decided to turn the garage into a dance studio. I really wanted that. I wanted to teach little kids dancing but I never had the change to actually do it. I decide to put on some music and think of a dance routine in my head.

A couple of hours later

I am dancing to my favorite song at the moment, To Build A Home. The lyrics gets me everytime. I thought it was time to make a routine. Mr Fitz was so sweet today. He is so perfect and… wait why am I thinking of Mr Fitz while dancing on a love song? I mean I only met him this morning. I have to admit that he is handsome and carring. I almost said something today but I just couldn't. I wanted to say something to Ezra… I mean Mr Fitz, but it wouldn't come out. It's to hard. To painful.

 _I build a home for you, for me_

When that line comes I give everything I have. Trying to get the feeling back. The feeling of love. I don't even now what it feels like anymore. To be loved. To love someone. I am broken. Can Ezra fix me?

 **Ezra POV**

After a long first day, I drive to Aria's house. I walk up to the front door and knock. I women with soft hazel eyes, just like Aria's. That must be her mom.

"Can I help you?" she asks. I reach out for her hand.

"I am Aria's new English teacher, Mr Fitz" She shakes my hand.

"I am Ella Montgomery, Aria's mom. What are you doing here? Do you know why she was so home early?"

"I am here to help Aria with her stories. She's a great writer, and you will have to talk about that with the principal. I don't know if I can say anything"

"I get it" she signs for me to come in "thank you so much for helping her… she is a great writer, dancer and singer. It's to bad that singing isn't an option anymore, but I think she is dancing at the moment. Just follow me. She wouldn't even know we are there. When she is dancing, she forgets about everthing that is bothering her"

I hear one of my favorite songs, To Build A Home. Aria and I have more in commen than I thought. We walk into a room. The music is much louder in here. We sit down on the ground. I watch her as she is dancing around the room. She does pirouettes and falls onto the ground. She is good. I see a single tear streaming down her cheek. The song ends and goes to the next song. It is called Brother by Matt Corby. She starts to dance on that song too. It is a different routine.

"The dance before this one, was new. I have never seen it. It is beautiful. The dance she is doing she made it just before the accident happened. She is dancing almost everyday and I hear this song all the time. She did a lot of dance styles, now the only style she is doing is modern and ballet. She dreamed of having a dance studio here and teaching little kids dancing, singing and sometimes she said she would add a writing class. She wants to be many things… writer, dancer and singer. She doesn't know I admire her. She's been through so much and although she stopped speaking, she is so strong. I know she holds up a front, she is always acting like she is happy, but as you can see by the tears streaming down her face, she isn't happy. I can't fix it. Mike can't fix it. Who can? It is just so hard to see your daughter in so much pain… I cry myself to sleep almost every night… wanna know why?" I nod "because I can hear her cry and pacing up and down and walking to the bathroom. Than it turns into sobs and I know she is falling asleep. It is breaking my heart that I can't fix it"

The music stops. Aria turns around and is looking at us with wide eyes. She forgot I was coming. I don't blame her though. She holds her hand over her mouth

 **Aria POV**

I see my mom and Ezra sitting on the ground. I totally forgot he was coming! Here I am crying like an idiot because of a damn dance. I hold my hand over my mouth, showing that I am sorry.

"It's okay Aria. You just forgot that I was coming to help you. We will reschedule, if you want to" he says. I desperately shake my head. I want him to help me. I want to be a writer. I want him to fix me. Wait… he can't. No one can. I look at my mom. Looking at her for help.

"You go shower and we will wait in the living room, okay?" She says, I nod. I run out the door, up the stairs and in to the bathroom. I turn on the water and make it the right temperature. Then I get in. I wash my hair and wash all the sweat from dancing off of me. I have been dancing since 11 this morning and it is now around 3.30 p.m.

I get out of the shower and dry myself. Than I spin my hair in a towel and let it rest on my head. I walk towards my closet and pick out a black jeans with my white v-neck t-shirt and my black wedges. It is a long time ago that I dress in white and black together. I always go black or white. Not black and white. I put on some make up and than I go to my hair. I pull strings of my hair on the top of my head back and make a little bun on top of my head. I put in some bobby pins to make sure it stays.

I walk down stairs and see my mom and Ezra talking.

"Hi sweetie, you look gorgeous. I need to get some groceries. Ezra, are you staying for dinner?" My mom asks.

Say no, say no, say no.

"I would love to!" he replies.

Dammit!

I run back up the stairs and get my school bag. My notebook is in there. I walk down and see that my mom is already gone.

"Ready to make some magic?" He asks with a smirk on his face. I smile and nod.

I get out my notebook and lay it down on the table. I get my pencil case and take out a pen.

"It is about you isn't it?" I look up in shock. I turn to look at him. He looks at me with sweet ocean blue eyes. I can see that he cares about me. I nod and I can feel tears forming in my eyes, so I turn away.

"Hey, hey. Don't cry. I didn't want to make you cry. I am such an idiot" he is hugging me by now. I laugh.

Wait

What just happened?

I laughed.

For the first time in 256 days.

I laughed.

What is he doing to me?

 **so what did ya think? i made aria a singer, dancer and writer because that was a story in my head but with other names. this was supposed to be my first official book but i thought why not? why not just share it with you guys? i hope i made a good choose! goodnight my lil' fam!**

 **kisses britt julia**


	4. She is finding her words

**Chapter 4**

 **Ezra POV**

"Lets begin" I say when Aria is finally calmed down. She nods and smiles.

"There were a few mistakes on the first page, but not any huge mistakes. Small ones, like forgetting a letter. So it is not that big of a problem. What about we read the first chapter together?" She nods "can I take it home with me so I can read a few more chapters?"

She nods and I smile.

"How many chapters have you written?" she puts up 5 fingers "okay, I will help you with the next few chapters if you want to. You will write them and then I will read them"

I look into her eyes. She is so beautiful. She has soft hazel eyes and beautiful brown hair. Perfect pink lips. How would they feel?

"You are beautiful"

I can't believe I just said that! I am such an idiot… How could I?!

Her cheeks get a light pink color. She is so cute when she is blushing. We stare at each other for a couple of minutes, when I decide tos peak "I am so sorry I just said that". She looks me in the eye and shakes her head. I now see that we are only inches away from each other. Suddenly I lean in. Ezra stop it… you are going to be in so much trouble, if you don't stop now!'. I ignore the voice in my head. Suddenly Aria leans in to. We are so close now that I can feel her breath on my lips. I close the gap between us by placing a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips feel amazing! Soft and it feels like they are made for me. She kisses me back, passionate. Suddenly I hear the front door open and close and we both pull away as fast as we can. Her mother walks in. I start to talk and Aria nods. We pretend that we we don't even know she is there.

"Hello?" Ella says "I asked you guys something"

We both turn around to look at her.

"Oh hi Ella. We didn't hear you coming in. What did you ask?" I say innocently.

"I asked if vegan pasta was okay" She asked again "I mean I know Aria is okay wit hit, she is vegan but are you okay wit hit? I can always order a pizza"

"No it's okay. I would love to try vegan pasta" I smile at her.

" Good because I already took it with me from the restaurant a couple of blocks away… I don't feel like cooking, so I thought why not?"

"Can I help with something?"

"Oh no! You are the guest! Aria can you help me set the table please? Mike is coming a little bit later but we can start eating" Aria nods and quikly stands up. She turns around one more time and smiles at me.

 **Aria POV**

Omg! I can't believe that I just kissed my teacher! My 24 year old english teacher! Not that I mind but if we hadn't heard my mom come in, we were so screwed… How am I gonna look Ezra in the eye? Will I be able to act normal around him? He just made me feel special. Loved. I felt equally loved. It was a long time ago that I felt so good. I know we can't do it I mean, I don't deserve someone like him. He deserves someone who talks to him and laughs with him and makes jokes and plays around. I don't think I can ever give him that. I don't deserve a great guy like him. Who cares and wants to make you feel comfertable. I will have to stay away from him. The fact that he is helping with my book isn't really helpfull though. We already decided that I would come to his apartment in 2 days, because he has to stay home for a package. I will decide tonight but first I have to survive this night… this is going to be a long night.

 ** _2 days later_**

I standing infront of apartment 3B. I am afraid to knock but I have to. For the book. I raise my hand and knock on the door. I can hear is footsteps coming to the door. He opens it and smiles at me. He slides tot he side and let me inside. I look around his apartment. Everywhere where i look I can see books. He has three copies of to kill a mockingbird. I walk towards it and take one copy out.

"So how many chapter have you written?"

I put one finger in the air.

"Can you show me?" I nod and placet he book back. I take out my notebook and hand it to him.

After a couple of minutes he starts to talk.

"Here you write that the pain never goes away. Instead of saying that the pain never goes away, you can say the pain is-" He starts to talk but I cut him off.

"Infinite" I whisper. He looks up at me, shocked. Now I realise something. I talked. What is he doing to me?

"What did you just say?" He asks me. By now I have been recovered from the shock. Now that I am talking. To him. I can just say it.

"I said, The pain is infinite" I say once more. A little bit louder than the first time

 **Ezra POV**

"Infinite"

In shock I look up at Aria. She talked. She talked to me! Her voice is so beautiful. She has a really soft voice.

"What did you just say?" I ask, still in shock.

"I said, the pain is infinite"

"Aria, do you realise you just talked?"

Maybe I shouldn't have said that. She goes straight back to nodding.

"No Aria please, talk to me? When did you start talking again?" She looks up at me.

"Just this moment" She says.

"How- Why?"

"I guess I just feel comfertable. Here. With you"

I walk up to her and pull her in for a hug.

"I am glad you did"

"I don't know if I can talk to the others yet" Aria says pulling away.

"Why not?"

"I don't know"she says while shrugging.

"Aria…"

"You make me feel loved!" She screams "Is that the answer you wanted to hear? You make me feel loved Ezra!" I love to hear her saying my name "2 days ago when you kissed me… I felt something that I haven't felt in 258 days… I could not love someone for 258 days. You come swooping around and I start to talk again… It is not noting Ezra!"

"Aria…"

"No I am not finished… when I saw you… I didn't know what you were doing to me.. I was desperate. I was scared of feeling this way, I still don't think I deserve to talk after what happened but you" She points at me "You made me wanna talk again. I am scared. Scared for my life"

"Why? Why are you scared Aria?"

"Scared of losing you. I've been there. I lost my dad, just like that. When I saw you yesterday at school, I wanted to grab you and kiss you wit hall the passion that I had. I don't want to let people in, because if I let people in, there is a chance that I will get hurt, again"

I walk up to Aria and take her head in my hands. I bend down and start to kiss her.

"Let me in, Aria. Please, let me in" I say and start to kiss her temple.

"Okay… but promise me somethings thing"

"What is it?"

"You will never leave me. You will not die. I will not have to lose you. You won't hurt me"

"I promise"

"No look me in the eye Ezra. I need you to look me in the eye when you say it…"

I look into her hazel eyes.

"I promise that I will never leave you, I will not die, you will not have to lose me and I won't hurt you"

She hugs me again and lays her head on my chest. I can feel her breath underneath my thin shirt.

We cuddled for a couple more minutes until I decide to ask her things.

"So… what is your favorite book?"

"My favorite book is 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. I have read it like 3 times now"

"that is also my favorite!" I say puling her closer.

Should I ask her? I am so scared. Okay I will just ask her.

"Aria?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

She stays silent. O no she is gonna say no…. Why did I even ask? She deserves someone her own age… not a 24 year old english teacher.

"If you don't want to it is fine really! I mean We-" She cuts me off by kissing me softly. She whispers against my mouth.

"I would love tob e your girlfriend, Ezra" I sigh "You thought I was going to say no didn't you?" She smirks.

"To be honest yes…"

"Why? Ezra… tell me"

"Because you are young and beautiful and everything a guy wants. I'm old"

She smiles.

"Ezra, you are not old. You are handsome and you have ocean blue eyes. I drown in them everytime you start to talk in class. Your mouth has the perfect shape, everytime you talk I want to run up to you and kiss you. I love you Ez"

"I love you too, Ar"

 **Soooooooo I told you guys there were going to be huge things in this chapter! All at one! Wait I didn't tell… O well! I just hope you enjoyed this chapter! Oh and feel free to follow me on instagram wink, wink! It is brightsasha , and haleshardingg oh and . Make sure you follow me on twitter ( halesloved_ ) so you can ask me questions when ever you want. I am not always looking at my PM's so just follow me on there and I will get back to you! Don't forget to review my loves!**

 **Lots of love and kisses and hugs and more virtual hugs,**

 **Britt Julia**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Aria POV**

 **"** So you like literature?" Ezra asks me.

"Yeah, I like it but I don't want to do anything with it, I think"

"Well you don't have to. You are a good writer and dancer. Now all I need to hear is your singing voice" He says with a boyish grin.

Oh god. Please don't ask, please don't.

"Will you sing for me?"

And there it is…

"You don't have to. If you don't feel comfortable"

"Ofcourse I want to sing for you. Which song do you want me to sing?" I say. Ofcourse I don't want to sing but I would do anything for him. I mean I only know him for 3 days no wand I already told him that I love him. I really do. I already love him. He makes me feel happy and loved. I owe hi mand if he wants me to sing for him, than I will.

"Let me think…"

He is cute when he is thinking. He snaps his fingers.

"Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. You know that song right?"

"Yes, it actually was… is one of my favorites songs to sing"

"I will look it up for you"

"But I am only going to sing the first part though"

"whatever you want, Princess"

He puts on the karaoke version of the song.

'Aria calm down, you can do this'. I think I need to start to listen to the voice in my head sometimes.

 _"_ _And I'd give up forever to touch you_

 _'_ _Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

 _You're the closest to haven that I'll ever be_

 _And I don't want to go home right_

 _And all I can taste is this moment_

 _And all I can breathe is your life_

 _And sooner or later it's over_

 _I just don't want to miss you tonight_

 _And I don't want the world to see me_

 _Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 _When everything's made to be broken_

 _I just want you to know who I am"_

When I decide to stop singing, Ezra smiles at me. I look up at him, shyly. He gets the message.

"You have a beautiful voice, Aria. From who in your family did you get that amazing voice?"

"My mom. She has a beautiful voice. When I was a little girl, my mom and I would sing when I had to go to bad. That was kind of my lullaby. I mean, normally mothers read lullaby's, but my mom and I sing.. I mean sang. It kind of was our evening routine. I was always excited when I had to go to bed. Kids from my age thought that I was crazy, I mean nobody liked to go to bed but I loved it…."

Before I know I am crying like a baby.

"What is wrong, Aria?" Ezra asks me and wipes my tears away.

"I miss that. I can not ever get that back. It is gone"

"Why Aria?"

"Because I decided to block everyone out when I was 10. I pushed everyone away. Years past and I was letting people in again and then your dad dies"

"I am so sorry Aria"

"Don't be. It is not your fault. It is my own fault.."

"Aria! Don't ever blame yourself about what happened! It is not your fault that you had an accident"

"Yes it is!"

"Why would it be your fault?"

"Because I stole a fucking skirt at the mall! Because I had to pretend to be a bad ass! Because we were fighting over it in the car and he got distracted! That is why it is my fault! I was to busy trying to fit in instead of trying to keep my family alive! It is my fault Ezra! And I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that!"

When I am done. I have tears streaming down my face, again. Ezra pulls me in a hug.

"We don't have to fight over this. Lets take a nap together. What you think?"

When I am calmed down, I answer.

"I would love to take a nap together" I smile up to him and he leads me to the bad. He lays down and I lay down next to him with my head on his chest. Within seconds I fall asleep

…

 _"_ _Dad please! Drive a little slower! We can slip because of the ice on the road! Do you want me dead?!"_

 _"_ _Aria don't yell! I am so dissapointed! Why did you steal that skirt?! Did Alison make you do it?!"_

 _He stares at me_

 _"_ _Dad!" I scream and the car turns over. Everything is black._

 _"_ _We will have to tell her. Ella"_

 _Aria god dammit wake up. I don't want to relive it. please god wake up!_

 _"_ _I just can not tell my daughter that her dad is dead…"_

 _Then Alison comes. Wait. Was has Ali to do with this dream?_

 _"_ _I will make your life a living hell, BITCH!"_

 _Suddenly she attacks me. She strangles me. I can't breathe._

 _"_ _Aria wake up!" Ali says._

 _Wait. It isn't Ali's voice. It is Ezra._

With a snap I am awake. Crying.

"Ssssh You are safe baby, you don't have to be scared"

Ezra holds me for a couple more minutes. I look over at the clock. 5.47 p.m. DAMMIT! I had tob e home at 5.30… I promised my mom to help her cook. I jump up.

"I have to go.. I am already late and I don't have a ca rand it will atleast take about half an hour to get back at home and my mom will kill me and then I will be grounded for a week and then I can't see you an-"

Ezra cuts me off by kissing me.

"Good way to make me shut up" I say, giggling.

"I can take you home Aria. Go put on your jacket and we will be ready to leave"

…

I storm inside and see that they are already eating. I give my mom the I-am-so-sorry-it-will-never-happen-again-look and she smile at me.

"I guess you had a good time with Mr. Fitz, because you forgot that you would help me with dinner, but really it is okay. Sit down honey" My mom says "So mike how was your day?"

"It was okay. Lacrosse is killing me. We are playing out Saturday and I will have to be in the front. The rest of the day I had the usual things. I stared at Aria a few minutes to make sure she was okay and then I saw her sitting with Hanna, Spencer and Emily. So I didn't have to worry" Mike says, smiling at me.

"That is good to hear. Since when are you friends again Aria?"

Should a talk? No maybe tomorrow… Why can't I just talk. I decide to just shrug.

After dinner, I help my mom with the dishes. When I am done with that I run upstairs. I get in to my room and sit on my bed. I see some old scrab books in the corner of my room. I get up and take them. I flip the first one open and see that the pictures are all my dad and me. I take one out and hold it. Maybe I can frame some of the pictures and put them up in my room. I go through all the books and take out as many pictures as I can. I walk towards my frames and take out the picture that is in them. I replace them with the pictures from the books. It takes so much time. When I am done I put them back where they belong. My whole room is now full of pictures of me and my dad. I miss him so much. Whatever Ezra says, I still feel like it is my fault. I had to steal that stupid skirt for Alison. If I just didn't steal the skirt, he would still be here. Right?

I decide to take out a different note book and start to write down my feelings. How I feel about my dad.

 _I miss him so much. Why can't I just take his place? Why is he dead and why am I not? Why am I alive? These questions are in my head fora bout 258 days now. I have to let go. I have to tell myself it is not my fault. But that would feel like I am lying. No matter how many times and how many people say to me it isn't my fault, I will still feel like it is my fault._

 _I feel him with me everytime. Wherever I go. Is he mad at me? Does he blame me too? I would understand why he would blame me. It was my fault. But if my dad is reading this from over my shoulder, I want him to forgive me, because if he doesn't want to forgive me than I am not able to forgive me too._

 _Dad, I just want to say that I love you and I always will. No matter who comes into my life. I will always love you the most. I hope you are happy for me that I have Ezra. Although he is my teacher, I love him with all my heart. I talked to him today. He makes me feel safe. It has been a long time since I had a safe place to land and now I have a safe place to land._

 _I love you dad. Forever and Always._

I am crying for the fourth time this day… Why can't I just stop crying?

I take my phone to look at the time. It is already 9.30 p.m. I will probably have to go to bad but I don't think I will be able to stop crying any time soon.

…

I am laying in my bed, crying. Suddenly the door opens. It is my mom.

"I was walking past your room and heard you crying. What is wrong honey?"

She looks around and sees that all my pictures are me and dad.

"Oh honey"

She runs towards me and I start to cry even harder. She holds me.

"Ssshh honey, it is going to be okay. Some day you will be able to day goodbye. It doesn't matter if that is tonight, tomorrow, next week or next year. You will be free one day sweetie. I promise. I promise"

I love my mom so much. It took me years to figure it out but I love her so much.

When my sobs are getting less, my mom lays me down and kisses my head.

"Get some sleep honey. Tomorrow is a new day. Goodnight Princess"

She walks towards the door.

She can't leave. I need her. I want her to sing with me.

"Mom" I say.

She turns around, shocked. She rushes over to my bed.

"What is it my baby? What is bothering you? Do you need anything?"

"Will you sing with me. Please?"

"Ofcourse I will sing with you"

"Thank you" I smile at her.

"The regular?" She says with a smirk and I nod.

 _Lullaby and goodnight, with roses bedight_

 _With lilies o'er spread is baby's wee bed_

 _Lay you down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed_

 _Lay you down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed_

 _Lullaby and goodnight, thy mothers delight_

 _Bright Angels beside my darling abide_

 _They will guard you at rest_

 _They will guard you at rest_

 **So what did you guys think? I chose this lullaby because my mom used to sing it to me** **J** **It is originally german but there is a english version and I am dutch so she sang it in english. This is how she sings it. say it if there are any mistakes in the lullaby! The next chapter there will be a sparinnily chapter ( I jus made up she ship name. You know who I mean ). R & R. If you have any ideas please PM me! I can use your ideas! I am a little off lately. Sorry bout tha.**

 **Kisses Britt Julia**


	6. Chapter 6

**Not an update I am so sorry. Sorry for not updating, I am just not doing well, physically. I've been holed up in my room for about 2 weeks now and I am planning on writing tomorrow. I will just have to see how this will work out. It's not easy for me and I hope you guys understand. I am sad and alone. I have no friends. I am ugly. Over all, I am really not doing well**

 **Xoxo B. Julia**


	7. Author's note : I'M BACK

Hi guys! I am back from the mental hospital! Let's call it Radley?

I am close to being healthy and my doctor told me to start writing again! She thought maybe if I started doing what I love to do, will make me better.

Writing is what I love to do. Sharing my ideas and inspire people!

And let's talk about 6x20! EZRIA! I loved the intimate scene. Let me know what you think of 6x20

Xoxo Britt Julia


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